Cursed Console
by Satsuriku-Sama
Summary: Alice's PSP seems out of the ordinary. How will Kratos deal with the 21st century?


MWAHAHA I IS ALIIIVE!

*crickets chirp*

Anyway, this is my newest story, I hope you all like it, because my other stories have decided to hate me and hide under the bed.

And one more thing: the wok is a very powerful weapon. Matt felt it. He felt it very much. Thank you, Alex, for putting our friend in the hospital. _Again_. I still can't believe they're dating...

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tap

_tap tap tap_

_tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap_

_tap tap_

"No!"

_tap tap tap tap tap_

_zzt tap tap tap tap tap tap tap_

"Come ooon…"

_tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap zzt tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap zzt tap tap tap tap tap_

"Would you _stop_ that?"

Alice looked up from her PSP and huffed.

"Well I'd like to see _you_ try and kill Charon."

"You know, all those videogames and comics, and Japanese cartoo—"

"Animes"

"Whatever. All that is bad for your brain."

_zzt_

"Oh, and you're much better off…" Alice put her paused game aside and stood up from the couch.

"Actually, I am."

"Shut up, you just read cooking books…speaking of which, what's for dinner?"

_zzt_

Summer sighed and closed her book. They walked to the kitchen, Summer taking out the wok and Alice sitting on the high stool after having taken a bottle of water from the fridge.

_zzt_

"Do you hear anything?" Alice frowned, squinting her eyes in annoyance.

"No. Maybe it's your brain giving the first signs of madness."

_zzt_

"Hmm…" Alice turned around in her chair and searched for the small noise. She tried to block out the racket Summer was making in the kitchen. "How loud can you get while chopping broccoli?" she asked. Summer stabbed the knife in the wooden tablet and glared at Alice.

_zzt_

"Okay, now I heard it." Summer came to stand next to Alice.

_zzt_

Alice followed the sound.

_zzt_

Living room…

_zzt_

Alice saw her PSP blink. Low battery, maybe?

_zzt_

There! It blinked again!

_zzt_

She stepped to the coffee table and raised the white console to her eyes.

_zzt_

LOADING

_zzt_

"What the heck are you loading?" Alice muttered.

_zzt_

She unpaused the game and finished Charon. After saving it, she turned the console off and put it back on the table.

"Weird…"

Summer was still frowning at the piece of technology, but shrugged and turned away after Alice.

_zzt_

They both whirled around to stare at the blinking screen.

_zzt_

LOADING

_zzt_

"Alice? I might not know much of videogames, but is it supposed to be doing that?"

"Um…no?"

_zzzzzzzzzzzt BOOM_

Both girls backed away and coughed at the dust cloud forming.

"Calliope!"

"Whu?"

"Calliope, my child!"

Summer screamed and started to flail around. She grabbed the wok from the stove, melted butter and all, and hit the mound that was holding her. A resounding clang and much coughing and waving at the dust later, they were able to look at the unconscious man on their kitchen floor.

"Summer?"

"Yeah?" she was still holding up the wok defensively.

"You just hit a man on the head."

"He was abusing me."

"You killed him." Alice crouched down and inspected the body. She gasped and scuttled away.

"What?" Summer backed away too, raising the wok.

"Th-tha-that's…that's K-kratos!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Alice. He's just cosplaying."

"Dude, you hit Kratos on the head with a frying pan."

"It's a wok."

"It's _Kratos_!"

"Nhhgh…" the body started to shift. Summer shrieked and Alice just watched wide eyed as the man stood up, holding a hand to his bald head. "Calliope?"

"Who the hell are you?" Summer's back was against the wall, her mighty wok protecting her.

"Calliope, I am your father."

"Her name is Summer, not Luke." Alice snorted. Then she realized the man's attention was now on her. Not good. He slowly raised a blade. Summer quickly hit the back of the man's head, making him collapse again.

"Ohh, my god. Ohh, we're screwed." Alice stared wide eyed at the unconscious man.

"Quickly, before he wakes up, get those swords away from him."

Alice could just squeak.

"Alice!"

"Don't you realize?"

"What?"

"My playstation is cursed!"

"What?"

"Kratos just came out of it, somehow crashing through the kitchen ceiling, which we have to fix now, and he's in our house, thinking you're his dead daughter, and threatening me, and ooohhh, what are we going to dooo?"

"I repeat. What?"

"Calliope?"

Summer shrieked again and jumped away from him.

"What is the matter? Where are we? Who is this?" he looked to Alice.

"Should I repeat?" she whispered to Summer.

"Shut up." She hissed. Then turning to the man: "Who are you?"

"Calliope, it's me, your father." He sounded a bit hurt and desperate, but Alice was way beyond caring what he was feeling. Right now she had to concentrate on _not_ choking.

"My father's a little fat banker. And he has hair."

"Not much…"

"Shut up, Alice."

"But…"

'_Wow, a confused Kratos…_' Alice mused. '_What am I thinking, Summer hit him with a frying pan!_'

"Look, mister, I don't know who you are, but you're scaring the hell out of me, and it's illegal to carry swords here, so if you could please leave…"

"Summer." Alice cleared her throat. "That's Kratos. You can't just throw him outside in the 21st century."

"How do you know my name, demon?" Kratos raised his sword again. "Where am I, what is this sorcery?"

"Summer? A little help?"

"Why do you call my daughter Summer?"

"Because that's my _name_!" Summer yelled at him, hitting the sword away from Alice with the wok.

"Are you _insane_, woman?" Alice turned to look at her roommate. Then it hit her. "Summer, you know how you took a picture to cut your hair?" Summer nodded, confused. "Lemme see it."

As Summer scrolled through the pictures in her cell phone, Alice inched away from Kratos, who was eying Summer's cell phone.

"Here." She held it out to Alice.

"Ohh, damn."

"What?"

"Summer, _this_ is Calliope."

"What?" Kratos interrupted them.

"Um…It seems that I look remarkably like your daughter…" Summer showed the phone to Kratos.

"Calliope…what is this? Who are you? What have you done to my daughter?"

Alice could even see the little symbols appearing on top of Kratos' head: triangle, triangle, square. Valor of Hercules. Slow, but powerful combo.

She realized now, how much help she needed.

Then she almost burst laughing when…nothing happened.

"What? Where are my powers, you demons?"

"We're not demons, you dolt!" Summer scoffed.

"Um…this world…doesn't have any gods…" Alice tried explaining before Kratos decided to ignore his swords and crush them with his bare hands. "So…"

"I see." He straightened up again. He turned around and walked to the living room. Both girls looked at each other and shrugged. They followed him. "When will you send me back? What do you want from me?"

"Um…" Alice looked at Summer. "I'll clean the kitchen, you explain everything to your dad." And she zoomed away.

Summer looked back at Kratos, letting a nervous laugh escape.

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Please review, and tell me if I should continue writing the next chapter.

And leave in a good word for Matt. At least he didn't get a concussion. Thank god. Or godS, whatever you believe in...


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